THE PRESENTATION RULES

• No "Stacking"
• No fish in bowls
• Plate must be same temperature as food
• Plate temperature must not exceed temperature that can burn your hand if you accidentally touch it
• No "touching"
• Food must be identifiable
• Food must be silent
• Soup must be hot
• Hot food must be hot
• Lettuce cannot look like plants or trees
• A real salad is crunchy, not chewy
• No corn, seeds, eggs, beets, beans in salad
• No dirt
• Garnishment is gay
• No yellow (except for corn)
• Corn must be hot 
• No "caramelized" anything
• No explanations
• No animal shaped food (except Goldfish crackers)
• Condiments must be same temperature of food (except for tartar sauce which must be slightly cooler)
• Paper Plates may ONLY be used at lunch (except for birthday cake which should always be on paper plates.) 
• A sandwich that is not supposed to be hot must be no hotter (or colder) than room temperature 
• No fancy glass for carbonated water (I don't care how much I've been charged for it.)
• LEMON with bubbly water, not lime PLEASE.  (Where's the memo that says all bubbly water is served with lime?)
• No black plastic silverware (except for birthday cake)